As Leo Tolstoy once said, “All happy families resemble one another; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
That quote can inspire us to ask ourselves two questions: What is it that happy families are doing? And, how can my spouse and I learn to do more of that?
The nationally acclaimed Fight Less, Love More nine week course will make its Long Island debut at the North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center in Manhasset on Sept. 25, at 7 p.m.
The one hour per week course will be led by Margo Messina, coordinator of high end clinical and community services at the center.
This marriage enrichment course, developed by Laurie Puhn Communications and the non-profit Family Dynamics Institute, is based on the national bestseller, “Fight Less, Love More,” written by Laurie Puhn, a Long Island native.
Puhn is a Harvard-educated lawyer, couples mediator, communication expert and TV personality regularly appearing on Fox News Channel, “Imus in the Morning,” NBC’s “Weekend Today” and other shows.
The course is designed for engaged, newlywed and long-time married couples who want to enrich their relationship. It is not therapy or counseling, but an educational course that teaches couples how to use practical communication and conflict resolution skills five minutes a day to live, love and parent better.
Underlying the success of this transformative course are Puhn’s three truths for a happy marriage.
Truth No. 1 – Happy couples do fight. The average couple fights twice a week. The goal for all couples is not to eliminate fights, but instead to learn how to have “good fights” that reach a solution and enhance the relationship, rather than destructive “bad fights” that wander aimlessly and reoccur over and over again.
Truth No. 2 – Love is conditional. People say, “We just grew apart,” or “We fell out of love.” This doesn’t just happen, according to Puhn.
It occurs because couples stop talking in a way that builds the conditions for love to thrive. What we come to expect, we neglect. Lasting love is intentional. We must learn how to infuse our daily conversations with simple words and actions to ignite respect, appreciation, intimacy, compassion and cooperation in our marriage.
Truth No. 3 – We don’t have to talk more, we have to talk better. There’s a common thought that happy couples talk more and that’s why they’re happier. Incorrect, states Puhn, based on her expertise and couples mediation practice. In our busy, multi-tasking world, it’s the happy couples who use smart verbal skills to talk better in the limited time they have together.
For information and registration fees, call Margo Messina at (516) 626-1971 ext. 370 or e-mail: mmessina@northshorechildguidance.org. Visit www.fightlesslovemore.com to watch the course promo clip.
