I heard something truly shocking the other day.
Apparently, researchers at the University of Virginia wanted to know how hard it would be for people to just sit for 15 minutes, “alone with their thoughts.”
The discovery? It was hard — so hard that when given the chance, one quarter of the women and two thirds of the men chose to give themselves painful electric shocks, rather than just sit and think.
One of the men even shocked himself 190 times in 15 minutes!
“No television?” asked my husband.
“Certainly not,” I replied. “No electronics of any kind.”
“Well, that explains Buzzer Guy. He was clearly in withdrawal from cable news.”
“What about you?” I asked. “Could you survive without a computer?”
“What about yourself?” he shot back. “No pens or paper, no books, no cards, no solitaire app on your cell phone?”
“I could quit that any time!”
“Want to bet?”
Researchers were at a loss to explain why just sitting and thinking was so hard.
“How hard could it be?” I exclaimed. “With no one whining that they’re hungry, or Where’s their Gameboy, or did you see what happened to my keys? Sounds like pure heaven!”
“Okay, Miss Bigmouth – let’s try it.”
“You mean – right here?”
“Right here, right now. I’ll set the timer in the other room and come back when your time is up.”
“Um – how long, again?”
“Are you chickening out?”
“Certainly not.” For at least as long as I’ve been a mom, I have dreamed of having time to myself. Alone with my thoughts? What a luxury! And for a mere fifteen minutes? I have to sit at least that long at the hairdresser’s, when the color is setting in. Sometimes I even have to keep my eyes closed.
“And no falling asleep.”
“Hey, get out of here. And don’t restart the timer, it’s not my fault if you don’t trust me.”
“Well, it is, actually, but never mind that now.”
Where was I? Oh yes, at the hairdresser’s. It is a bit extravagant, maybe I should just go gray? But people always ask if I’ve lost weight when I’ve had my hair done; if I stop, I’ll have to really lose weight, and that’s just plain impossible.
Happy thoughts, Judy. That’s the key, I’m sure.
So, how about the ocean? All that nice white sand to dig my toes in, while the waves come pounding up the beach…. Every year my friends plan a beach day, and every year I say I’ll go, but every year, something comes up instead. Why can’t I make a commitment and stick to it, for once?
Oh dear, this isn’t going well.
I can make a to-do list as long as it’s all in my head.
Let’s see, I’d better pick up something for dinner when I’m done with this. I wonder if I’ll find those coupons, or if I’ve lost them again? It’s like those cloth shopping bags. I keep them right in the car, but I never remember them until I’m at the checkout, when it’s always too late.
Was my memory always this bad? I can’t even remember! I’m losing my mind!
How long have I been sitting here? No watch. Not even a sundial! Can I see the window from here? Is it my imagination, or is the dust in the corner actually moving?
Gosh, I hate this! How can I get so thirsty, so fast? All I can think of is iced tea, with a sprig of mint from the garden.
At least I haven’t killed that yet. I wish I could grow plants the way my cousin does. I have such a black thumb….
I wonder what my book-group friend is doing right now? Probably reading, out in her back yard, with her feet up . Why don’t I ever do that?
Oh, yeah, because whenever I try all I notice is how the garage needs painting, and the roof shingles are coming off, and the metal thing on top of the chimney is crooked – hey, maybe that’s how the water keeps dripping in. There’s just so much that needs fixing. And all the clutter!
Must I think about it? Is there any way I can stop this? Where’s a good electric shock when you need one?
As the writer Ann Lamott has said, “My mind is a dangerous neighborhood that I try not to go into, alone.”
Bzzzzzzt! Ouch! Now where was I? All I can remember are some ocean breezes….
