Readers Write: Obama’s student-loan program too generous

The Island Now

Guess what? At the age of 72, I am going back to school to get a degree in sex education, offered by San Francisco State University. 

Please don’t call my wife. She’s actually quite thrilled at the thought of not having me around for four years. Seeing me on parents weekend is more than enough for her.

It all started when President Obama’s student-loan program, “made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.” 

I can go to any college, get any degree, and the president, using taxpayer money of course, will pick up the tab.

Last week, President Obama reminded an enthralled student audience that it is the Democratic Party who is making all of this possible. It’s those ruthless Republicans and those heartless, uncaring Conservatives who have the unadulterated gall and the incredible nerve, to actually ask you to pay it back. We students better vote Democratic.

But hold on a minute. There’s a slight hitch in his free education plan. After sending the application and getting those recommendations, I may now have to study sex education at Roslyn’s Adult Ed. instead. 

Some unscrupulous Republicans are going around saying that taxpayers, somewhere, sometime, will actually have to pay off this huge debt. Are they kidding? Didn’t Obama just tell us that all he had to do was raise the debt ceiling again and just borrow the money?

The Liberal’s dream of a free education is turning into a national nightmare because so many graduates are not paying us back. That number is rapidly rising, because Professor Obama, believe it or not, is teaching every student how not to pay off their loans.

1 – Do you just love playing with dolls? Obama will lend you the money to study puppetry at the University of Connecticut.

2 – Is your education getting in the way of your drinking? Turn your alcoholism into something much more productive than your second DUI. A student loan will get you a degree in fermentation sciences given by North Carolina’s Appalachian State University. That way, the judge will understand when you tell him that you were just doing research for a college paper when the cop pulled you over with a .20 blood alcohol level.

3 – How about cleaning up your room and, at the same time, getting rid of all that junk by majoring in auctioneering at Harrisburg Area Community College?

4 – Looking for a nanny next summer? Study to be a nanny yourself at Kentucky’s Sullivan University. It’s a great program and Obama will take care of the tuition.

Just when our national debt has reached the unheard of sum of $17 trillion, when we are now spending $200 billion a year on social security disability payments, and when 48 million American’s are receiving food stamps, Obama has increased the size of his student loan program to a staggering $1 trillion.

As reported on CNBC, in 2011-2012, 71 percent of all undergraduates, regardless of their need or what they are studying, now receive some form of financial aid. Our “spender-in-chief” is really doing his job. Sounds like he is on commission.

Putting this in perspective, it’s twice the amount it was when Barack Obama took office. Better yet, lets take a quiz: Which amount is the highest?

1 – The entire United States credit card debt.

2 – The entire United States car loan debt.

3 – The entire student loan debt.

The highest is the student loan debt! Amazing isn’t it? Higher than either of the other two.

Here are last month’s numbers directly from Obama’s own Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (what we really need is a Taxpayer Financial Protection Bureau).

1 – You now know that the student loan program has grown to a whopping $1 trillion. Got it? One trillion big ones.

2 – As more students receive federal loans, the colleges are just raising their tuition accordingly. It’s just more money in their pocket. No wonder 80 percent of all college professors vote Democratic. 

Now please sit down, take a deep breath and get ready for the really bad news.

3 – The CFPB reported last month that 40 percent of all out-of-school borrowers, (that not a misprint) have either defaulted or followed Obama’s plan and are not paying back their student loans. Amazing.

This is the breakdown: seven million student borrowers are currently in default. By the way, Obama’s definition of default is anyone not making a payment in nine months. Got that? Nine months. Imagine what the numbers would be if they used three months in arrears, like our mortgage payments? Add on the 8.9 million others who have taken Obama’s advice and postponed paying us back for three years. Theoretically, they are not currently paying us back now either. What makes you think they will start paying in three years? Are you still glad that Obama nationalized the student-loan program two years ago?

Before I give you my solution, here’s Obama’s plan (from his same CFPB): Pay attention, all you deadbeats out there, (so sorry, much to insensitive) all you “delinquent student borrowers” out there, how’s that? This is how the CFPB teaches you not to pay us back. How kind of them with our money. Here goes:

1 – Any recent graduate can limit his payment to 10 percent of his yearly income. If your parents are paying your rent and giving you money, your income is really low. So are the payments. Why get a job? Why pay it back?

2 – After 10 years of paying the minimum amount, the balance is completely forgiven. Do you believe that? Why would anyone pay more than the minimum? Still not enough for you?

3 – Try working for the government or a non-profit and your loans will also be forgiven in 10 years.

Some thanks are definitely in order:         

1 – Let’s thank all those present and future taxpayers who just love their taxes going to subsidizing students, other than their own kids.

2 – Let’s thank our government and the non-profits for hiring all these debt-ridden graduates, to replace their parents, friends and neighbors, who are currently working in those jobs.

3 – A big round of applause to our president, who has saddled us with a one trillion dollar “free” education program. What a legacy.

Now its time for my plan. It’s called “Steve’s Program Of Idiotic Loan’s Dept,” better known as “Spoiled.”

Until students pay back all their loans:

No cable.

No gym membership (try walking).

No Flat screen TV.  

No iPhone (only a regular cell phone). 

No Starbucks (make your own).  

No BMW (maybe a Corolla).

No house in the Hamptons, (swim at Jones  Beach).  

No Nobu (eat at the Diner).

No Netflix.

I sympathize with all you recent graduates. Sometimes growing up isn’t easy, because as Milton Friedman said, “There is no such thing as a free lunch.”      

Dr. Stephen Morris DDS

North Hills

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