Fork and Spoon were having a bet over which of them was more important.
“Admit it!” said Spoon. “People need me more, and you know it! Just try to imagine a table setting without me!”
“I don’t have to imagine,” said Fork. “It was just a few hours ago, at lunch. The restaurant table was all set, with a napkin, a knife, and me. No spoon in sight.”
“Ah — but tell me, what happened next?” asked Spoon.
“Then, Judy and her husband ate lunch.”
“You know what I mean. What did she order?”
“Um, a bowl of soup.”
“And before she could have the soup, what had to happen? What did the waiter bring over, to this perfectly well-set table of yours?”
“Um, a spoon,” Fork muttered, almost inaudibly.
“I can’t hear you — what did you say?”
“A spoon! A spoon! Verily, a spoon! Are you happy now?”
“I’m getting there.” Spoon smiled. “It’s about time you recognized my versatility! I am needed for all kinds of things — from making stew, to stirring the pasta sauce, to dishing out mashed potatoes! I mean, spooning them out. And Judy’s husband needs me all the time, too, for making pancake batter!”
“Well, you’re not the only one. He prefers to use me when he scrambles eggs,” said Fork.
“Perhaps — but only because he can’t find a spoon!”
“Plus, don’t forget, they need me for splitting English muffins,” added Fork.
“Yes, but even you have to admit, that’s a weird one. Who uses a fork to split anything?”
“That’s the English for you,” said Spoon. “It’s not even a real muffin!” They both chuckled.
“I know how to prove my importance,” said Spoon. “Check any set of silverware. They always have twice as many spoons as forks!”
“Which proves what, exactly?”
“It proves that people need me twice as much as they need you. Think about it; even without a soup course, people usually want a spoon to help them eat things like rice, or peas —”
“Oh, get a grip. A fork is all you need.”
“That’s my point — with just a fork, it’s hard to! Those peas roll around…”
“Yes, well…”
“And then you need another spoon, with the coffee. Or tea. Because with any kind of milk, or sugar, you need to stir it. So the world will always need spoons! And that’s why there’s so many more of me.” Spoon sat back and smiled.
“Or you could look at it this way: if there’s twice as many spoons as forks, then I, a simple fork, am worth two of you!”
“No, no no! That can’t be right. Because no matter how many clean pieces of silverware they start out with, every dishwasher cycle, which one of us do they always run out of, first? Spoons? Or forks?
“Oh, well — it’s spoons,” says Fork, grudgingly. “But that’s only because Judy is so wasteful, she uses a new spoon for every cup of coffee she makes, all day!”
“She doesn’t really,” says Spoon. “You’ve been listening to her husband, I see. But he exaggerates. Now hush! Company’s coming.”
It was the first barbecue of the season. The men grabbed tongs and giant forks and went outside to grill the meat, while the women stayed in the kitchen.
“What are you serving first?” asked one of the women.
“I thought finger foods,” said Judy.
Fork and Spoon exchanged a look — this was not going to settle their bet.
“And how about I toss the salad?” said another friend. She grabbed big fork and big spoon, together. This was even worse — they would have to cooperate!
“And what have you got for dessert?”
“Oh, coffee, tea, and ice-cream cake!”
Spoon shot a look at Fork.
“And guess what I thought we’d use, to eat it with?” said Judy. “Look at what my husband found at the flea market!”
She brought out a box of utensils.
“What are those?”
“They’re sporks! Half spoon, half fork — for eating both cake and ice cream! And they’ll do for stirring the coffee, as well.”
“This is getting too weird,” Spoon shrugged, and shook hands with Fork. “Let’s call it a tie.” Fork agreed.
Just one question: who’s going to break it to Knife?
