The brave new world that our children have inherited provides them with some daunting challenges. We are all aware of the stress felt by the families of the middle classes thanks to flattened wages and the exorbitant cost of higher education.
Matthew Stewart published a lengthy piece recently in The Atlantic entitled “The Birth of a New Aristocracy,” which describes the desperate race that families are in in order not to be left behind. He states that the real wall that is being built across America relates to the establishment of a new aristocracy made up exclusively of professionals, CEOs and financial analysts. He describes how it has now become necessary to live in “gilded” zip codes and gain entrance to the elite high schools, colleges and country clubs in order to obtain privilege and advantage and safety. He describes how the top 10 percent of income earners are investing huge amounts of money to guarantee that there kids gain entrance into this new aristocracy.
I think he is absolutely correct in his assessment. The concept of “the one percenters” gained traction after the economic collapse of 2008 and this concept has morphed into the dynamic Stewart described above.
As a sport psychologist who works every day with many of Long Island’s most elite young athletes, I see firsthand the impact this pressurized social environment has. No matter how much a parent may want to shield their kids from this high pressure life, every young athlete can’t help but be aware of this stress.
Private schools cost large money and so does elite level training and sports travel that’s now done all year round. Parents and child are heavily invested in success and there is much joy and much glory that is obtained but clearly for almost every child there is also a cost. Here is a syndrome I see every day. It matters not whether they play soccer, fence, golf, tennis, baseball or lacrosse. Typically the child is excelling in every area of their life and is perfectionistic, sets high standards and demands much of themselves. They study hard, they get very good grades, they train hard and they excel on the playing field. They get up early and go to bed late. They are bigger and better looking than the average kids and are more ethical as well. But all this effort comes at the following cost:
1) They show unrelenting anxiety that comes in the form of nerves, cold hands, headaches, stomach problems, jitteriness and extreme worry.
2) They become injury prone due to overuse, fatigue or an unconscious desire to have a break.
3) They tend to get sick with colds and take a longer time to recover since their immune system gets run down over time.
4) They become depressed and often are tearful in session.
5) They show irritability at home and the parents do not know why or what to do about it.
It is both ironic and sad to hear these kids who are trying so hard and doing so well in all areas also show so much upset, anxiety and despair. That is the world they have inherited from us.
Way back in the early 1800s, Alexis de Tocquville wrote the classic text “Democracy in America” where he noted that America is based upon equality of opportunity which results in a nation with the task of proving their worth and never resting on their laurels. We never had a class system which provided visible levels of status so we are left with the burden of accumulating evidence of our proper place. This gives us our drive but also our constant stress.
I would suggest that today things are worse than ever and why Stewart’s essay is so important. America is desperately trying to establish a class system in order to give the lucky ones a feeling of status, worth and respect. This process is clearly seen right here in Nassau County which happens to be one of the wealthiest counties in America. The wall that Trump is so anxious to build is actually an allusion to this social status wall that both the middle and the upper classes are busy building in every single town across America. It is an abstraction this social wall and it separates the haves from the have nots. This is precisely the world we have given to our children.
Perhaps it has always been this way. Darwin called it the survival of the fittest. Those who work hard enough and who are lucky enough, who adapt quickly and are supported enough by family are the ones that in the end take charge. It’s amazing to see how much effort and pain is required to get there and to become a member of America’s new aristocracy. All these young athletes I see each day are suffering and shaking but that may be the price of entrance into America’s new ruling class.
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