One of the longest standing records in baseball history is for the most consecutive games played, a record held by the late Lou Gehrig of the New York Yankees at 2,130. As of May 20, we have heard words coming out of the mouth of President Donald Trump for 851 consecutive days. Why does he have this need to speak out every single day?
We have uncovered the reason and it has to do with his wife Melania. Every day, since the day they were married, Donald subjected her to his mouthing off, that is, until she finally told him that if he needed to express his opinions so much, to release all his anger and frustrations, then he should, at the very least, consider running for the presidency of the United States. At least then, his subordinates would have no choice but to listen to him, much like they did in business. Further, if he did say the right things, perhaps the people would then decide to tune in. Melania went on to tell him that it would be easier for the American people to believe his rhetoric because they were a lot more gullible than her own native European people.
Trump got it and was thrilled to pass on his message to the American people. Factually, as Trump confided to one of his closest confidants, (a recording that will soon be made available to the American public upon request), becoming president and being leader of the nation was meant to happen. As he stated, his roots go back to biblical times, from God giving Moses the Ten Commandments on two stone tablets to the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
You might wonder what has that to do with Trump? In the most basic terms, it is fact and not fake news that both Jesus Christ and Moses were reincarnated into Trump. That’s the reason he is loved by all denominations and sects. That’s sects, s-e-c-t-s, not sex, s-e-x, another word that even he is familiar with. Talking about the Ten Commandments, Trump loves the Commandment, “Thou shall not steal.” As we all know, he is and always has been an honest businessman. As for “Thou shall not commit adultery,” Trump did pay off both his ex-wives with substantial amounts of money, which from his point of view clears them off his balance sheet. As for other payments he allegedly made to other women, either by himself or through intermediaries, such reasons, currently unknown, should be left solely known to God.
Let’s forget about the current dissension going on, whether in America or throughout the world, and let’s focus on the future, when Trump becomes eligible to leave the White House office. At that time, he surely will continue to have his massive following and television network. Executives are already drooling. Since his previous network show, “The Apprentice,” was a tremendous success, which many critics claimed was the greatest television show of all-time, a follow-up show is already in the preliminary stages. It’s a show where Trump is once again the host, doing interviews with inmates from prison, directly from his own private cell, complete with the famous Trump insignia affixed to his cot, with the proposed show title posted on the cell’s door that will read: “Don’t Believe What You See!”
You don’t believe this could happen? Hell, who could believe that Trump could be elected? This is America, the land of opportunity. Let’s make America great again. Don’t forget to tune in. Got to go. Time for a commercial. Now a word from our sponsor… Russia!
Alvin H. Goldberg
Great Neck
