I try to lead a meaningful life, but I seem to spend most of my waking moments dealing with my possessions. These moments fall into six stages, or steps.
I was on a train into the city when I noticed that the woman next to me had a leather purse just like my own. But on her purse some of the shoulder strap stitching was coming undone, to the point that it looked like there were two shoulder straps instead of one.
I wondered, “Doesn’t that bother her?” I’d never put up with it.
Parking my car at King Kullen, I couldn’t help noticing a car parked some spaces away. Its side panel was horribly dented. How can they stand that, I wondered? Doesn’t it bother them, every time they use their car? I’m glad I don’t have to live with that.
This is step one of the cycle. Call it ignorant Bliss.
Step two is awareness. It gradually dawns on you – you are one of those people, too!
You pass your own car in the evening light, and you notice, “Is that a dent? In the driver side door? How long has that been there? Don’t tell me I’ve been driving around with a big ugly dent in my door?”
Plus, my purse strap is beginning to unravel, exactly like that lady’s on the train. This should reassure me that it’s something about the purse, but I am not consoled. I have that purse with me every minute of the day, and if I let it look so worn and bedraggled, what does that say about me? I can’t live with this. I must do something about it. But what?
Step three: The Struggle.
After much research, I find a dry cleaner who “has a guy” who does leather work. My purse will cost $150 to repair. That’s more than half of its purchase price – but a new one would cost even more, so I hand it over. They say it’ll take two weeks.
The body shop tells me the door will cost hundreds of dollars to de-dent, and with no accident to charge it to, it’s all my own money. Add more for a rental car to drive while they’re fixing it, and it’s a lot. Still, I tell them to go ahead and make it right, because for sure I can’t drive it around like this.
Step four. The next step is Happiness!
Or it should be – except the purse guy is taking so long to get back to me, I am stuck in Aggravation. I have called his voice mail so many times it won’t take any more messages.
As for the car, I get aggravation there, too. It seems that so many people have dented this same door of their 10-year-old Toyota, that they’re having trouble getting parts, or so they tell me. It means at least another week of the rental, too, but what choice do I have? None.
Step five: Happiness!
Finally, the dry cleaner has a package for me. It is my purse, all fixed, with brand new stitches plus a glossy shine. See? You don’t have to put up with faulty stitching. You can fix things! Not to rub it in, but why doesn’t everyone do this?
Next I pick up my car, beautiful and perfect. The amount I end up paying is a shock, but it’s worth it to take a sad, sorry mess and turn it back into a thing of pride. All is well with my world.
I wish I could end the story here but I can’t. Two weeks later, I’m taking the train home when I notice those same stitches coming out again. I didn’t even get one whole month of feeling good. What kind of repair is that? But it was so much aggravation to get this far, I don’t have the stomach to try again. I’ll just have to live with it.
Besides, there’s no time for meditation because now I must shop for dinner. And while I am in the store, a wind storm whistles up out of nowhere, slamming a rogue shopping wagon into my car, right into the door I had de-dented.
I’d love to fix it, but I just spent all that money, and besides my son is turning 16 and soon he’ll surely be denting it too. You know what? I’ll just have to live with it.
That’s how you arrive at Step 6: Acceptance.
